I finally bought a new phone mount, meaning that driving videos are going to start rolling out again. Good news!

In the meantime, I’ve still been keeping up with some guys in other ways, like email and Discord. I noticed a recurrent issue that some men were having, which I’ve also experienced myself.

Men are often successful in reducing the frequency of porn use, but fail to quit completely. You might get it down to once a month, for instance, but be unsuccessful in going further than that.

The common line of thinking is that you need to have some epiphany or learn some new technique or profound truth to finish the job and kill your addiction for good.

In this video, I am not offering a special technique, or deeper knowledge, or any kind of cure for a stubborn porn habit.

In this video, I simply give my thoughts on the idea that you’re missing something you need in order to quit porn, and how to stop that idea from holding you back.

 

 

Toward the beginning of the video, I mentioned I’m participating in a program created by Hunter Drew, called 31 Days To Masculinity. You can find the book on Amazon here.

-Ezekiel

 

 

When you’re struggling with certain sins, it’s easy to start seeing relationship with God as a way to get out of that sin and change your life for the better.

This is true in some ways. God is the solution to sin. Investing in our relationship with Him does help us get free and living according to His will.

However, if that’s the purpose of your relationship with God—if that’s the main reason you want to take Him more seriously, that could be a huge problem. Because God is not a means to an end.

The purpose of our relationship with God isn’t to enable us to resist sin, or achieve some other goal. Rather, the reason we resist sin is so that we can more fully give our lives to God.

It seems to be a subtle difference on the surface. But it’s a crucial one.

In the latest video, I dig in deeper on this and tell about some of my own shortfalls in this area.

 

 

If you’re interested in the book I briefly referred to in this video, you can find it here: Killing Kryptonite by John Bevere.

-Ezekiel

 

 

Growing up, I had a paralyzing fear that often kept me from maturing, building important relationships, or even making small changes to my lifestyle.

Like many fears held by people living in the first world, it was completely irrational. I always liked to think of myself as a pretty logical person, but even so, I allowed myself to remain firmly in the grip of this fear for years.

It’s not a fear I’ve heard talked about before. I have no idea how common or rare it is.

Maybe it’s one of those things that lots of people have, but nobody puts to words. Or maybe it’s just me.

Or maybe I’m just not using the right search terms.

On the surface, it may have looked like I was simply afraid of change. But I wasn’t; I wanted to make the changes I was afraid to make. And besides, I was already used to dramatically changing circumstances, having lived in four different states before I even made it to middle school.

This was something different. I was not afraid of change itself. Not at all.

The easiest way to put it, is that I was afraid of being perceived to have changed myself.

I was afraid of people thinking I was doing something I “wouldn’t normally do”.

It wasn’t just negative judgment that I feared either. I was afraid of making an unexpected positive impression too.

I had a mental picture of what I thought others perceived me to be. And I was terrified of being seen to deviate from that picture.

This was, without a doubt, the biggest fear that held me back while growing up.

In the video below, I go into more detail about my experience with this fear.

 

 

-Ezekiel

 

 

In September of 2017, I quit my job at an auto repair shop to pursue my own businesses.

I had a good chunk of money saved up, but no steady clients or income streams. I just jumped ship and went to see what I could do.

The experience has been challenging, rewarding, stressful, educational, and a host of other adjectives I won’t list.

In this video, I give an account of my first eight months or so living like this.

 

 

For those interested, here are a few of the books I’ve read that have helped me along this path:

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie: https://amzn.to/2yc4Vsc
Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin: https://amzn.to/2Mt6t3X
Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovich: https://amzn.to/2yomntF
Choose Yourself by James Altucher: https://amzn.to/2la8Yvz
The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday: https://amzn.to/2MvPjmv

-Ezekiel

 

 

Most Christians, by default, view temptation as a bad thing. An annoyance, a problem, or even a terrible affliction.

It seems to be natural for us to wish that temptation would just go away and disappear forever. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about it.

The fact is, that’s not going to happen any time soon. And we’re better off changing our own thinking, rather than sitting around wishing for our circumstances to change.

So let’s ask a weird question:

Is temptation necessarily a bad thing?

 

In my latest video, I shed some light on a radically different way to view temptation. This viewpoint is the reason I often look forward to confronting temptation, instead of dreading it.

 

I recognize this is an odd topic, and I’d love to hear what you think about it. Let me know your take in the comments, on social media, or email:

Gab: https://gab.ai/Brohoshaphat

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BrohoshaphatG

Discord: https://discord.gg/w4ZdcEg

Email: brohoshaphat@gmail.com

-Ezekiel

 

 

In September of 2017, I finally made the jump. I quit my job and went fully into business for myself.

I had figured it would probably take a couple months to really get into the swing of things and replace my income. I was mistaken.

Over half a year later, I still wasn’t doing well. My savings were bleeding out. I wasn’t hitting my goals. I still had time, but I didn’t have any firm indication that I was really on my way to true, gainful self-employment.

The entire time, it felt like there was a mental and emotional barrier stopping me from getting into gear and taking myself seriously. But I couldn’t quantify it or figure it out. I felt like there was just something wrong with me.

One day, it finally hit me. I was carrying an old weight from my childhood. I was still blaming myself for something that I had already walked away from years ago.

If I felt like I was “in the dark”, it was because I was living in a shadow of the past.

In this video, I talk about how greed poisoned me as a child, and how the after-effects of that poison continued to hold me down well into my adulthood.

Then I’ll talk about how I finally confronted my past and forgave myself, allowing me to work more confidently toward the life I’ve wanted to live.

 

-Ezekiel

 

 

From time to time, I’ll speak with men who have reached a discouraging point in their battle against some vice, like porn.

I’ve been at this same discouraging point myself at times.

It’s best described as, “feeling guilty for not feeling guilty.”

We fail. Over. And over. And over again.

At first, we feel guilt for our failures. And it is fitting that we do.

After all, we’ve betrayed God. Right in front of His face, no less.

We have—even if in secret—let down the people who look up to us.

We’ve failed our current or future spouses.

We sabotage ourselves, and slowly kill off the person we were created to be.

And so we feel guilt.

But, eventually, we grow numb. We get used to the sting of failure. And our feelings of guilt cease.

This can be alarming and discouraging. For some of us, guilt was a key driving force behind our efforts to change. What will we do without it?

The video below explains how to handle this situation, as well as the overall role of feelings (like guilt) in your life as a man.

 

-Ezekiel

 

 

Today, I’d like to talk about some important truths regarding what it really means to be a Christian.

Many people have an unspoken idea in the back of their heads—that there is time for God, and then time for yourself. Some of your hours are “God time”, and some of your hours are “me time”.

This is a misunderstanding, and it can sometimes carry significant consequences for the believer.

In this video, I talk about what it means to be a Christian man, and the responsibilities that come with that role.

 

-Ezekiel

 

 

It’s natural to feel a sense of shame when you fail and relapse into sin.

But when this shame stops us from immediately turning to God in repentance, it becomes an enormous problem. When we feel like we can’t return to God until we straighten out our behavior on our own, we become trapped.

That’s because we could never free ourselves. We need God to wash us clean.

In this video, I talk about escaping this shame and running immediately to God, as well as the magnitude of God’s love for us and what Christ really has accomplished.

 

-Ezekiel

 

In my latest video, I talk about a key principle for getting free from porn addiction.

Sometimes it’s easy to feel like future relapses are a certainty. That you can’t really quit porn for good until you go through a certain amount of learning and failure.

This is not true. We should always be learning, but we should remember that in every battle, victory is just one choice away.

Check out the short video below as I dive into this topic.

 

-Ezekiel