I finally bought a new phone mount, meaning that driving videos are going to start rolling out again. Good news!

In the meantime, I’ve still been keeping up with some guys in other ways, like email and Discord. I noticed a recurrent issue that some men were having, which I’ve also experienced myself.

Men are often successful in reducing the frequency of porn use, but fail to quit completely. You might get it down to once a month, for instance, but be unsuccessful in going further than that.

The common line of thinking is that you need to have some epiphany or learn some new technique or profound truth to finish the job and kill your addiction for good.

In this video, I am not offering a special technique, or deeper knowledge, or any kind of cure for a stubborn porn habit.

In this video, I simply give my thoughts on the idea that you’re missing something you need in order to quit porn, and how to stop that idea from holding you back.

 

 

Toward the beginning of the video, I mentioned I’m participating in a program created by Hunter Drew, called 31 Days To Masculinity. You can find the book on Amazon here.

-Ezekiel

 

 

When you’re struggling with certain sins, it’s easy to start seeing relationship with God as a way to get out of that sin and change your life for the better.

This is true in some ways. God is the solution to sin. Investing in our relationship with Him does help us get free and living according to His will.

However, if that’s the purpose of your relationship with God—if that’s the main reason you want to take Him more seriously, that could be a huge problem. Because God is not a means to an end.

The purpose of our relationship with God isn’t to enable us to resist sin, or achieve some other goal. Rather, the reason we resist sin is so that we can more fully give our lives to God.

It seems to be a subtle difference on the surface. But it’s a crucial one.

In the latest video, I dig in deeper on this and tell about some of my own shortfalls in this area.

 

 

If you’re interested in the book I briefly referred to in this video, you can find it here: Killing Kryptonite by John Bevere.

-Ezekiel

 

 

Most Christians, by default, view temptation as a bad thing. An annoyance, a problem, or even a terrible affliction.

It seems to be natural for us to wish that temptation would just go away and disappear forever. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about it.

The fact is, that’s not going to happen any time soon. And we’re better off changing our own thinking, rather than sitting around wishing for our circumstances to change.

So let’s ask a weird question:

Is temptation necessarily a bad thing?

 

In my latest video, I shed some light on a radically different way to view temptation. This viewpoint is the reason I often look forward to confronting temptation, instead of dreading it.

 

I recognize this is an odd topic, and I’d love to hear what you think about it. Let me know your take in the comments, on social media, or email:

Gab: https://gab.ai/Brohoshaphat

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BrohoshaphatG

Discord: https://discord.gg/w4ZdcEg

Email: brohoshaphat@gmail.com

-Ezekiel

 

 

From time to time, I’ll speak with men who have reached a discouraging point in their battle against some vice, like porn.

I’ve been at this same discouraging point myself at times.

It’s best described as, “feeling guilty for not feeling guilty.”

We fail. Over. And over. And over again.

At first, we feel guilt for our failures. And it is fitting that we do.

After all, we’ve betrayed God. Right in front of His face, no less.

We have—even if in secret—let down the people who look up to us.

We’ve failed our current or future spouses.

We sabotage ourselves, and slowly kill off the person we were created to be.

And so we feel guilt.

But, eventually, we grow numb. We get used to the sting of failure. And our feelings of guilt cease.

This can be alarming and discouraging. For some of us, guilt was a key driving force behind our efforts to change. What will we do without it?

The video below explains how to handle this situation, as well as the overall role of feelings (like guilt) in your life as a man.

 

-Ezekiel

 

 

Today, I’d like to talk about some important truths regarding what it really means to be a Christian.

Many people have an unspoken idea in the back of their heads—that there is time for God, and then time for yourself. Some of your hours are “God time”, and some of your hours are “me time”.

This is a misunderstanding, and it can sometimes carry significant consequences for the believer.

In this video, I talk about what it means to be a Christian man, and the responsibilities that come with that role.

 

-Ezekiel

 

Introspection

You are different from me.

I don’t know who you are, and I know you’re probably not the only one reading this. But I’m talking to you specifically. You are different from me. Your life is different. Your mind is different. Your desires, weaknesses, strengths, motives, experiences, and knowledge are all different from my own.

There is a theory that language by itself is not very effective at conveying completely new ideas. That the best it can do is direct your attention to something you can perceive yourself, or draw a comparison to something you’re already familiar with.

This is more or less true. It’s why real-life experience is a better teacher than a book, and it’s why analogies are often so much more powerful than raw, factual descriptions. It’s why a blind person can study and learn all about the color red, and still not know it as well as someone who has seen it.

Another example: Last year, as part of December of Discipline (AKA 31 Days To Masculinity), I ran without resting for as long as I could, right up until I collapsed onto the ground.

I could go into great detail describing that experience to you, but you still wouldn’t really know what that’s like unless you’ve done it yourself.

Experience is simply the best teacher out there. You can learn from others, and they can even give vital input by drawing connections or pointing out details you missed. But ultimately, first-hand knowledge is the easiest to understand, apply, and remember. And it is the basis for all further learning.

This rang true during my experience quitting porn. Along the way, I did learn and benefit from the insights of others. But the major breakthroughs occurred while taking time by myself and doing some real thinking.

After a failure, I had to sit down and figure out what went wrong. I had to personally and honestly analyze the thoughts and events that led to relapsing. I had to take time to think about how my own experiences were related to the lessons I had learned elsewhere.

I had to take the second-hand knowledge from others and turn it into first-hand knowledge.

There is no substitute for this. You yourself must learn. While teaching is good, no amount of teaching can make up for a failure to learn.

Thinking On A Stump
You should occasionally spend some time away from everyone and everything else. Hopefully in a more comfortable position than this.

Take time by yourself. Turn off the music, walk away from the computer, put down your phone. Think. Pray.

Dissect your mind and your behavior. Dismantle your excuses and self-deception and get to the true heart of your thoughts and actions.

This is something that must be done, and nobody else can do it for you 100%.

Other people can help expose the lies you tell yourself and give you shortcuts to finding the truth. They can give you hints and reminders and explain things you haven’t put together yourself.

But you still have to find out how the truth of these lessons manifests in your own life so you can put them to work. Sometimes this is quick and easy. Other times it takes hours of intense introspection. Either way, you have to take the time to feed and train your mind.

I’ll close with an analogy to drive the point home.

You could assemble the best physical trainers in the world and they could tell you what workouts to do, the best nutritional plans, how to exercise with the best form, and give you all the information you would need to reach any fitness goal as quickly as possible.

But they can’t go to the gym for you. You have to do that.

So do it.

-Ezekiel

 

 

In my latest video, I talk about a key principle for getting free from porn addiction.

Sometimes it’s easy to feel like future relapses are a certainty. That you can’t really quit porn for good until you go through a certain amount of learning and failure.

This is not true. We should always be learning, but we should remember that in every battle, victory is just one choice away.

Check out the short video below as I dive into this topic.

 

-Ezekiel

 

The Biblical story of Jesus being tempted by Satan is very interesting (Matthew 4:1-11). It always seemed odd to me that Satan’s first choice was to tempt Jesus to turn stones into bread. After all, Jesus is known for food-related miracles, and there doesn’t seem to be anything inherently sinful about the act of turning stones into bread. So why would Satan tempt Jesus to do something, if it isn’t even wrong?

As it turns out, the story contains an excellent lesson on how to perceive and handle temptation. In my latest video, I talk about how it applies to quitting porn and how these insights can help you stay clean.

Check it out below:

 

-Ezekiel