In September of 2017, I finally made the jump. I quit my job and went fully into business for myself.

I had figured it would probably take a couple months to really get into the swing of things and replace my income. I was mistaken.

Over half a year later, I still wasn’t doing well. My savings were bleeding out. I wasn’t hitting my goals. I still had time, but I didn’t have any firm indication that I was really on my way to true, gainful self-employment.

The entire time, it felt like there was a mental and emotional barrier stopping me from getting into gear and taking myself seriously. But I couldn’t quantify it or figure it out. I felt like there was just something wrong with me.

One day, it finally hit me. I was carrying an old weight from my childhood. I was still blaming myself for something that I had already walked away from years ago.

If I felt like I was “in the dark”, it was because I was living in a shadow of the past.

In this video, I talk about how greed poisoned me as a child, and how the after-effects of that poison continued to hold me down well into my adulthood.

Then I’ll talk about how I finally confronted my past and forgave myself, allowing me to work more confidently toward the life I’ve wanted to live.

 

-Ezekiel

 

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